"A New Age Dawns" (From The Wombat, January 21, 2001)
-WASHINGTON, D.C.-
Throngs of loyalists and constitutents celebrated the inaugration of the nation's 43rd president, George Walker Bush, who was sworn in today after a long legal battle ended with the Supreme Court's decision to halt the Florida recount.
Bush, a single-term Republican governor from Texas, campaigned on a platform of "compassionate conservatism"--a political ideal marked by an emphasis on peaceful, diplomatic foreign relations and a return to fiscally responsible domestic policy; all policies are implemented through the lens of Christianity with its inherent emphasis on caring for the poor, destitute, and a general importance placed on the sanctity of life.
"America can say goodbye to sky-high taxes," said Bush's campaign advisor, Karl Rove, speaking of former President Clinton's economic policies. "With President Bush's tax cuts and tight-fisted fiscal governance, this country's record-setting surplus will only grow."
Whereas Bush's predecessor sent NATO forces to Kosovo and failed to act on the Rwandan genocide, Bush's advisors say he has a much better sense of when force is necessary and when restraint is in order.
"The President has a terrific team of advisors with a tremendous amount of foreign policy experience," said Thomas Jennings, a fellow at the conservative American Policy Institute. "He's learned temperance from his father's decision to pull out of Iraq before it turned into a quagmire. This administration knows better."
And, speaking of the Clinton administration's negligence regarding Rwanda, Jennings asserted that this president wouldn't allow a similar atrocity to fester.
"I think we've all learned from Rwanda," Jennings said. "I have a feeling that this president will snuff out any African conflict before it can escalate into genocide."
Though most conservatives were basking in the glow of the Bush victory, some feared that Bush's "compassion" may come at a price for real, red-blooded Goldwater conservatism.
"With all this talk of compassion, I get worried that Bush might just be a fruity, civil liberties-lover in Birkenstocks," said Stanley Goodman, a registered Republican from Langley, Virginia. "I hope he just stays out of our personal lives like a good, old-fashioned conservative."
This is one point where some liberals and conservatives have found common ground.
"Though I disagree with his views on abortion and other social issues, President Bush seems intent to maintain strong civil liberties and personal privacy for all Americans," said Jane Goodwin of the American Civil Liberties Union. "I mean, I think the son of a president knows better than to pull a Jackson or a Lincoln and suspend habeus corpus," Goodwin said with a chortle.
After eight long years of obfuscation and deceit, the American people are ready for an open, honest administration; and, having only won by the narrowest of margins, the Bush administration will not rule as if it had a mandate.
"The age of partisan politics is over," said Vice President Cheney. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must leave for a hunting trip."
